Waaaaater.......

It's midnight; we are moving tomorrow, and I have been up since 6am. I am trying to finish packing the kitchen up, and eh, maybe I'm halfway through. In an effort to lighten our load I did no grocery shopping this week and encouraged everyone to use stuff up. Which means that the last glass of water was drunk, 3 hours ago, by me. There is no more water in the house, period. Except for tap water, and we all know that stuff gives you dysentery. I am thirsty. T H I R S T Y. Soooo thirsty. How can I wrap plates and pack glasses and clean when my throat is shriveling up? I can't. I just have to drink something. And my husbands warm coke or the kids undiluted orange squash just aren't options you know. It's time for drastic action. A midnight race to my husbands car for the trusty bottle of water he always has in there. It will be perilous, dark, there will be monsters. I steel myself. I grab the keys. Put my shoes one. Stand in front of the door. I tell myself all will be fine. I open the door. At first, it's ok. Nothing flies at me. But SUDDENLY a Crane Fly swoops through the door, dives at my head, and then races toward the light. Another bashes against the door, obviously not understanding exactly how it works. A huge white moth slams into the glass, I see shadows circling just behind the throw of the kitchen light. I let out a scream and slam the door. Simultaneously ducking and waving my hands above my head to fend off the imminent attack. Nothing. I look up, and around. The crane fly is making his way into the dining room, where ultimately, he will meet his demise.

The door remains closed. And here I sit. Thirsty. So thirsty. Water.

Moving...

I'm feeling a bit sad today because we are moving in a week. Originally I was really excited, and of course I still am. The new house is much bigger, and it has loads of storage space and a fantastic big backyard/garden. But it has really started to hit me how much I'll miss it here. The sheer amount of green space. The huge field right through the woods across the street where we go for evening walks and to play ball with the kids. The woods themselves, which change with the season and are always a pleasure to walk through. The MOD land across the road that just goes on for miles around where we go for long Sunday walks and never know what we'll find or where we'll end up. One Sunday it was at the top of a hill overlooking the entire area, another day it was lost in the pouring rain going in circles. The kids pick blackberries and plums and climb the trees and are always on the lookout for rabbits or deer or foxes. I'll miss the small town ness of it. Of running into my neighbors at the grocery store and saying hi, of the bank tellers knowing my name (and, unfortunatley at times, my bank balance...) I'll miss the kids schools, too. They are really great schools and my son, who had so much trouble back home has just had such a better time here. They both love their schools, they know all the teachers and the other kids. I know the schools, the people there, the other parents, etc. I read the school calendar today and felt sad seeing all the things that my son will miss out on this year.


Our house is to small, our garden completley unsecure (weve had pissed off local kids throw garbage in our yard, people walk through it, and we think people have been sitting at our patio table at night while we are asleep which is disturbing.) The local kids are horrid foul mouthed monsters. So, I know that moving is the best option. But I feel like we are moving to this great house which will become the center of our environment. There are no trees or big fields to play in, or land to walk through. The schools, which we have chosen carefully, are to far to walk to anymore, and while our road seems nice everything behind it seems crammed together and looks like council estates. But, it is all clean and quite. I don't really like the local shopping centre and all the small shops a mile or so up the road look really dirty and...not nice... So, I'm glad we're not really near them.

And while I'm sure the schools will be great, they won't be the same or nearly as good as what we have here.

So, I just feel that this house is it. The only reason we're moving, and is it worth it? Am I going to hate the area so much that even the house will fail to make me/us happy? Only one way to find out I suppose. But, I'll miss it here.

I am a bad mother

Really. The worst.

I give my 5 month old baby chocolate. Melted, on the end of my finger, when I'm baking brownies. Sometimes- sometimes- I give him some whipped cream to. And, dear god- he LOVES it.

He is obviously going to develop life threatening allergies, grow up to be morbidly obese, and have apalling eating habits.

Oh, woe is me.

I ate all the muffins.

That's right. Today has been a cold, wet, grey day. I have been in a cold, grey mood ever since having a row with my husband this morning, and our silent drive home when he picked me up did not help. After spending half an hour in bed crying, I decided I should probably get up and make dinner, since I didnt know when the horde would get home from the inlaws house.

My motivation was the brownies. Feeling miserable and sorry for myself it seemed only logical that while cooking dinner I should stuff my face with the triple chocolate brownies, and maybe some of the brownies with cream cheese filling as well. But, alas when I got downstairs I couldnt find them anywhere! I couldnt believe it! Not even the empty container. So, I called my still pissed off and also in trouble husband and asked very nicely if he knew where MY brownies had gone. "Oh, the kids took them down to mums with them".

Ah! They STOLE MY brownies! The horde- who were told that one of them could have ONE brownie after lunch and the other could have NO brownies at all since I came downstairs at 6:00am and found her stuffing her face with TWO illicit brownies. The very same children took the whole lot with them! What about me?! I mean honestly! You completley disregard my instructions and disobey my orders- and then you don't even leave me ONE?! They are SO being sold to the gypsies this time. Even the baby- I'll bet he was the mastermind behind it, he's always trying to get chocolate.


And just to get back at them I baked more blueberry muffins, which they love!, and I ate them allll. Hah. I might even bake more brownies and tease them.

Thieves.