16 November, 2007

Christmas time is here again

The children have slowly been earning back their Christmas via stars, they earn one for every good day they have. Since we started eight days ago, they have earned six stars. As a reward we went to Petersfield to see the switching on of the Christmas lights. We listened and sang along to Christmas songs on the way up, walked along the high street and square, enjoyed the music, laughed at the silly clowns walking around asking for money for Children in Need, ate warm popcorn and just had a nice time out.

The baby was very cute in his fleecey lined pajamas and hat, and we got to meet DH's colleagues new baby and wife, who were both very cute and very sweet.

I was slightly annoyed as no shops were open, and all the festivities were confined to the small square, which was packed. There were so many people out and about, the shops would have made a killing, and surely the town could have done a bit more with the space provided.

On the way home we listened to the quiet Christmas carols and just mellowed. All in all a nice night and made me happy that Christmas time is back again. Even if I can't afford all the fabby Xmas stuff in the windows of Laura Ashley!

11 November, 2007

Rafe notes

He cried because his new teeth were hurting him. It is so rare because he is normally so easy going and happy. The calpol finally kicked in and he was happy again. Drinking his juice and eating lunch. He smiled.

He held my hand at bedtime. I sat down next to his crib and he held on tight to my hand as he drifted off. I thought to myself how perfect he was, how much I love him, how I never want to leave him.


So, lateley I have taken to rating myself out of ten at the end of the day. This means I can either congratulate myself on being superwoman once again, OR up the anti depressant dose.

So it is Sunday and I have given myself a 3/10. I've been grumpy and moody all weekend. Short tempered with the children and finding fault with everything they do. I did laundry and a small amount of cleaning, but didn't finish anything I started, or start anything I meant to!

Part of it is that it is November. Halloween has just passed (The British just don't get it) and Thanksgiving should be approaching. But not here. I would be looking forward to Turkey and mom's pumpkin pie. Getting up early and watching the All American Thanksgiving Day Parade, only to abandon it when Macy's started. Excited about everyone coming over, only to bicker endlessly with my sister when she and bro arrived. The kids breaking the drumstick. Football. Giving Thanks. Black Friday, and Christmas. I'm depressed because this will be my third Thanksgiving away from home. Which leads to my third Christmas away from home.

I don't get along with my family, havent even spoken to my sister or brother since I left almost three years ago. But right now I just want to be home. I want to take my kids and my husband and even the cats and get on a plane and go home. And since I know I can't do that, I imagine the next few months with be full of 3/10's.