11 November, 2007

3/10

So, lateley I have taken to rating myself out of ten at the end of the day. This means I can either congratulate myself on being superwoman once again, OR up the anti depressant dose.

So it is Sunday and I have given myself a 3/10. I've been grumpy and moody all weekend. Short tempered with the children and finding fault with everything they do. I did laundry and a small amount of cleaning, but didn't finish anything I started, or start anything I meant to!

Part of it is that it is November. Halloween has just passed (The British just don't get it) and Thanksgiving should be approaching. But not here. I would be looking forward to Turkey and mom's pumpkin pie. Getting up early and watching the All American Thanksgiving Day Parade, only to abandon it when Macy's started. Excited about everyone coming over, only to bicker endlessly with my sister when she and bro arrived. The kids breaking the drumstick. Football. Giving Thanks. Black Friday, and Christmas. I'm depressed because this will be my third Thanksgiving away from home. Which leads to my third Christmas away from home.

I don't get along with my family, havent even spoken to my sister or brother since I left almost three years ago. But right now I just want to be home. I want to take my kids and my husband and even the cats and get on a plane and go home. And since I know I can't do that, I imagine the next few months with be full of 3/10's.

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